Forrest BurtnetteThe liberal camp is lacing up their marching shoes, getting suited up in their uniforms, oiling their trombones, and preparing for the parade. This parade does not happen once a year, but rather it happens 24/7. The parade passes by many conservative families’ homes. As a grandmother is drinking her morning coffee, Skyping with her granddaughter, there is a huge inflated balloon of Ben Carson saying “A Muslim can’t be president.” The laid-off conservative welder peers out his window and catches a glimpse of a grotesque Donald Trump float repeating over and over again that he doesn’t know the name of the leader of the Quds force and that he hates women. The conservative piano teacher’s lesson is rudely disrupted as amplified sounds of Miley Cyrus blast over the Beethoven sonata her student is practicing, as puppets of two naked men kissing pass over her front lawn. A conservative man reading the National Review is insultingly interrupted by screams of social injustice from a Bernie Sanders float and plans for the government to obtain more of the man’s income. Children of conservative parents learning personal responsibility and self-control are suddenly distracted by a huge float out their window featuring Coco twerking in a G string.

It’s a constant parade. My ears ring all the time from the continuous clamor. They strike up the band whenever some member of a group that is one-fifth of one percent of the population wants to shame a traditionally minded person from holding a certain opinion. A conservative may have worked hard in school, gotten married, stayed with his spouse and raised strong children, yet his story is not part of the parade. The only thing constantly in the papers and on TV and social media is the intentional controversies stirred up by misguided intellectuals bent on weakening traditional families and selfishly creating division and instability. They are preparing ground for promotion of their pet causes, which usually involves the State forcing people to conform to liberalism.

The shiny trombones, loud marching music and provocative floats are taking the spotlight away from politicians like Paul Ryan that are actually trying to reduce the federal deficit. The horse crap that hard working people must clean up at the end of the left-wing parade is taking time away from more important pursuits, like improving the efficiency of fuel cells or doing research on the antimalarial resistance of parasites. The constellations of race baiting, class warfare and inequality that we’re constantly made to look at and make shapes out of is taking oxygen away from the eccentric astronomer excitedly reporting his findings on galaxy formation. The graduate student of American History takes time away from absorbing James Madison’s warnings about big government, to read a CNN headline about the history of Marco Rubio’s speeding tickets.

In additional to professionals doing exciting and meaningful work—those whose stories and interests are shrouded by distractions of manufactured and selective outrage in liberal media— there are home-oriented moms and dads who want to expose their children to wholesome, uplifting TV shows and movies, and maybe do something for themselves like attend a weekly singing club, reading club, chess or bridge club, or join the Jaycees or the Masons. Well, they are led away from those respectable pursuits by the constant whipping up of division from the left. And good luck finding a kids’ movie these days without cleverly disguised leftist themes. The citizen is drawn away from simple community-oriented activities like taking part in a local Christmas Party for the elderly because he is expected to be totally outraged over Mike Huckabee’s insensitivity towards transgender Guatemalans.

Even the Pope is shaming American conservatives and making them feel unwanted. You get the feeling that the Pope thinks a conservative who believes in both Jesus Christ and small government needs to reevaluate his pro-free market position—or be relegated the wilderness with all the other Adam Smith loving Neanderthals. I read in the news that the Pope is introducing a new dialogue about the economy and social justice—and I’m thinking—yeah, if you call the views outlined in the book Das Kapital in 1867 “new” then sure, the Pope’s starting a new discussion.

Why should a conservative Christian who applauds the steady march of common people over central governments—from the King John being forced to sign the Magna Carta, to the development of English common law, the creation of the parliamentary system, to the American Constitution, which puts severe hamstrings on the president and government in general—why should that conservative be shamed into doubting his pride in these events? Why should the march of people over government be abated? Why should he surrender to having authority figures smooth out or censor the occasional uncomely discourse and events that free societies produce? Why should he be prodded to throw out the baby with the bathwater—to ignore all the good that comes of freedom and instead walk in the liberal parade on a short leash, fervently looking under every rock to seek out the latest conservative crank with a strong, unpopular opinion, material for a freakish float, banner or balloon? Daily going out of their way to find fodder that will be molded and aimed at the credulous parade onlookers is wasting so much of the left’s time—and our time.

Liberals are always translating what the right says in their supposed bigoted “code.” In other words, a Christian who wants prayer in school is translated by the mainstream media into “Screw everybody that does not believe in my God.” A libertarian who loves individual freedom of action and freedom of thought without persecution by the State is translated into “it’s OK to hate blacks, homosexuals or whoever you feel like hating.” A conservative who is concerned with the splintering of American culture into isolated subgroups and favors the English language over Spanish is really saying “white supremacy now, white supremacy tomorrow, white supremacy forever.” Conservatives supporting the 2nd Amendment are translated to say “we’re not bothered in the least about school massacres.” People who are against minimum wage laws are translated to say, “we don’t care anything about poor people.” A conservative who speaks out about Planned Parenthood illegally harvesting baby parts for profit with the help of taxpayer money is translated to “he wants to restrict women’s medical choices and disrupt research on cures for Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s.” I heard a story on NPR on September 29th, where, as usual, they devote most of the piece to the liberal point of view, then they put the obligatory right wing chump on to give the appearance of being balanced. The doctors in the story mainly said that the fetal tissue was unique and very valuable for advancing research on diseases. Well, yeah it’s unique, but it’s also murdered babies.

People on the right side of the political spectrum are always being wrongly translated with the help of the left’s out-of-context half-truths, gotcha questions, whisper campaigns and hit pieces. The mangled translations of conservatives go on big banners in the liberal parade. Remember, lengthy reasoning and data don’t fit on a banner, so the left ignores how the conservative arrives at his or her position.

Well, let me do a little translating of my own. Here’s a quote from Jorge Bergoglio, aka Pope Francis, in his speech to the U.S. Congress in late September 2015:

“If politics must truly be at the service of the human person, it follows that it cannot be a slave to the economy and finance. Politics is, instead, an expression of our compelling need to live as one, in order to build as one the greatest common good: that of a community which sacrifices particular interests in order to share, in justice and peace, its goods, its interests, its social life. I do not underestimate the difficulty that this involves, but I encourage you in this effort.”

If you take out the ambiguous and lofty language, this is what Bergoglio is really trying to say. “If politics is what I naively say it is, the service of a human person, as opposed to what it really is, a blood sport of opposing ideas, then it follows that we should not see smart successful people that create desirable products and services as good and deserving of their prosperity, but rather we should get central governments everywhere to take money from successful enterprises and redistribute the wealth to less productive people, as determined by the State, in order to create social justice. Therefore we cannot tolerate free people freely doing business; we must centrally manage the situation. Politics is an expression of our compelling need to not have debates or differences in viewpoints, but rather, after getting your heart and your mind in order, falling in line with the Marxist beliefs of good people of the earth. We must live as one for the common good – meaning we can trample on certain individuals as long as everyone in the huddled masses is happy. We must sacrifice particular interests, and I’m one of the ones that knows which interests should be sacrificed because I’m really smart. We should share everything, and the workers of the world must unite and sing Kumbaya every chance they get. I don’t understand why everybody does not see things my way, but I encourage you to trust my preeminent knowledge on economics even though I’ve never run a business, paid steep business taxes and waded through massive government regulations. I encourage you to not educate yourself in profitable fields and work hard in a free capitalistic society, but instead listen to un-elected pontificating know-it-alls like me. In other words, don’t be a slave to the economy and finance, but rather be a slave to people like me on your TV peddling Marxism disguised in pseudo-religious language.”

How’d I do? Was that kinda what you were trying to say, Pope Francis? Did I translate your leftist “code” fairly accurately? Tell me, who is the person you’ll most likely see in heaven after you die, the capitalism-friendly Pope John Paul II or the authoritarian leftist Hugo Chavez? The code that you talk in suggests that you’ll see Chavez and his buddy Fidel Castro in heaven for all the help and justice they provided their peoples.

Isn’t it sad that socialism has made such an extreme advance throughout the West thanks to many groups like the Frankfurt School at Columbia University and radical leftists from the 1960s? Now we have a president and a Pope, both with strong Marxist leanings, and the leading Democratic candidate an unapologetic socialist. Most Americans under 40 are socialist due to overwhelming presence of leftist high school teachers and college professors and the imprint they made on these young minds.

The parade is very hard to look away from. There is shiny brass moving this way and that, clanging cymbals, bold banners, and it makes you feel good being a part of it. It gives you a certain sense of happiness because it makes you feel like you are on the right side of history, fighting a noble cause, and doing the right thing against the followers of Voldemort—the right wing soulless dunderheads that are so full of hate…but don’t fall for it. If you walk away from the commotion and noise, go down an unremarkable road with well-kept residences and people quietly living their lives undistracted by the hubbub of the parade, you will find greater happiness. You will cut the leash the left keeps you on, and you will learn to ignore the shrill whistles that have been manipulating your emotions for so many years. You will march to personal success instead of being a slave in the chimerical Marxist parade. Once you achieve personal success, the sky is the limit as far as how much you want to help others through charity, good deeds and hopefully through your career.

Don’t be afraid to eat crow and to say you were wrong. I know it’s painful, but I urge every leftist reading this to work your way out of the indoctrination. Go your own way. I’m not saying that all conservatives agree, and I’m not saying you have to become Jerry Falwell. There are considerable differences in opinion on the right on a wide variety of subjects. But in general, most modern conservatives believe giving more power to the government is a bad road to go down. We also believe in the family as opposed to big government schemes to help the masses.

I will leave you with a quote from a very famous socialist from the modern era. The quote seems to meld the caring, morals and hope of Bergoglio, Bernie Sanders, and Obama into one.

We are socialists, we are enemies of today’s capitalistic economic system for the exploitation of the economically weak, with its unfair salaries, with its unseemly evaluation of a human being according to wealth and property instead of responsibility and performance, and we are determined to destroy this system under all conditions.

That statement was made in 1927 by Adolf Hitler to get his people to go along with all the good things the National Socialist German Worker’s party was planning. You may argue that the Nazis were was not what socialism was all about. Hitler promised all these things and then changed his tune; he perniciously led his people into a trap. and his talk about the exploitation of capitalism and wealth inequality was just bait for the German people to take, so he and the German central government could amass power, and do what every they pleased.

If that is your argument, then great, you are starting to see the light. You have taken the first step towards pulling the wool from your eyes. Obama, Bergoglio and Sanders might be nice people, but their political beliefs coalesce toward central control, which usually ends badly.

So the banner you could make out of this article is: “Burtnette likens the Pope to Hitler.” That would be a half truth and taken out of context. The current Pope seems like a wonderful, caring human being, as I believe is true of most people on the left. Unfortunately, he’s been led astray in the field of politics and economics. What he sees around the world and criticizes is not free-market capitalism. It is socialism, and businesses have evolved to take advantage of the big socialistic governments and their central banks. Let’s not look at lions in zoos and says they are not scary, because they just lay around most of the day. And let’s not look at crapitalism and think it’s a free market.

People on the left say there is no such thing as the free market; it doesn’t exist anywhere. It’s just an idealistic theory in an economics textbook. To which I say maybe, but no water is 100% clean, no food is completely without harmful bacteria, and no marriage is without fights and misunderstandings. That doesn’t mean that we should give up on our quest to find clean water, locate healthy food, and get married. Put another way, it’s like calculus. Much of that mathematic disciple is based on approaching a number like 0, but never reaching it. Should we throw out Newton and Leibniz’s powerful discovery of calculus because it’s not exact, it just approaches the right answer? No, and we shouldn’t throw out the unfettered free market as the goal. It is one thing to have minimal laws and regulation of industry – laws and regulation on which almost every American. can agree. It is quite another thing to erect impediments to control business and to launch diatribes against the free market, blaming it for society’s problems. Engineering happiness for the majority by waging a war on business is extremely misguided, as are so many other mantras in this incessant and obnoxious liberal parade.

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Forrest is a James Madison University graduate and has lived in Albemarle County for the last 15 years. He is married with kids and likes economics, history, politics, traveling, languages.and music among many other things.

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