by: Rockey Rhoades

The meeting will come to order. Quiet down everyone, we’re ready to get started.

Welcome everyone. As the duly-elected Mayor of Charlottesville, I’m pleased to announce that the City Council and I have agreed to adopt several new policies, which will have the force of law, when a formal vote is taken on them, in a few minutes.

First, we have agreed that there will now be two standards of justice in Charlottesville: One for those who believe in revolutionary Marxist principles, and those who do not. Those who do, can effectively do anything they want, short of murder, and there will be no penalties, because they are working for a greater good. So, if they riot, block busy intersections, obtain the physical products they need from others who own them, through bullying or use of a weapon, those will all be sanctioned by this body. And even if one of them does murder someone, we will proceed with investigating the matter on the assumption that the deceased person or persons must have offended them in some way, or disagreed with their revolutionary Marxist ideals.

We will, henceforth, be calling these revolutionary Marxists, “Good Citizens of The People’s Revolutionary Collective of Charlottesville (PRCC). Further, the “Good Citizens” will be officially authorized, by me and the Council, to remove any statue, any display of any sort that favorably depicts America’s Founding racist oppressors, or the flag they created to promote it.

All those who do not believe in revolutionary Marxist principles, will henceforth be referred to, in official documents and in our schools, as “them,” or “they.” This group of residents will not receive responses to their 911 cals, and will be required to pay a special surtax, to offset the cost necessary for our schools to expose them as the reactionary Nazis, white nationalists, racists and haters that they are. The amount of this surcharge tax will be determined at a future meeting of the City Council, but for now, it’d be accurate to say that the surcharge will be significant.

In conclusion, as we proceed to take this historic vote, I’d like to thank the advisers from ANTIFA, the Revolutionary Communist Party, Black Lives Matter, the Council of La Raza, the Council on American Islamic Relations, and the National Iranian American Council for the invaluable input and guidance they generously offered, in helping us to craft this new body of laws.

And with that, we will now proceed with the vote. Power to the Good Citizens of the PRCC!!!!

2 COMMENTS

  1. @ Jeffrey E Fogel As a staunch supporter of all that’s left wing, you are in a good position to realize trash when you see it. I agree it’s SNL grade comedy which means it’s a mean spirited attempt at political commentary disguised as political satire. I doubt you consider SNL’s efforts just left wing trash.

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