Once upon a time…

The little red hen (a Charlottesville taxpayer) was working in Charlottesville one day and through her labor earned three grains of wheat. She then asked her elected representatives, “Who will help me plant my wheat?”

“Not I,” said the goose. (Mayor Dave Norris)
“Not I,” said the duck. (Councilor David Brown)
“Not I,” said the pig. (Councilor Julian Taliaferro)
“Not I,” said the cow. (Councilor Satyendra Huja)

“Then I will do it myself,” said the little red hen, and so she did.

The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.

“Who will help me reap my wheat?” asked the little red hen.

“Not I,” quacked the duck, “I’ve got a back to crack.” (Brown)
“Not I,” oinked the pig, “I’ve got a fire to put out.” (Taliaferro)
“Not I,” honked the goose, “I’ve got homeless to make dependent on me.” (Norris)
“Not I,” mooed the cow, “I’m busy protecting the tree canopy.” (Huja)

“Then I will do it myself,” said the little red hen, and so she did.

After much labor, at last it came time to bake the bread.

‘Who will help me bake the bread?” asked the little red hen.

“That would be overtime for me,” said the goose. (Norris)
“I might ‘offend’ sombody,” said the duck. (Brown)
“I’m a dropout and never learned how,” said the pig. (Taliaferro)
“If I’m to be the only helper, that’s discrimination,” said the cow. (Huja)

“Then I will do it myself,” said the little red hen, and so she did.

She baked five beautiful loaves of bread and held them up for all of her barnyard neighbors to see.

They all wanted some and, in fact, they demanded a share.

But the little red hen said, “Oh no, I baked this bread, and so my family and I shall eat the five loaves.”

“Excess profits!” cried the goose. (Norris)
“Capitalist leech!” screamed the duck. (Brown)
“Hate speech!” yelled the cow. (Huja )
The pig just grunted in disdain as he wallowed lazily in the mud. (Taliaferro)

And they all painted picket signs that read, Unfair!, and they paraded them in protest along the downtown mall. And they held public forums condemning the little red hen for her selfishness, shouting insults and demanding their due.

Then came the farmer. (City Manager Gary O’Connell) He said to the little red hen, “You must not be so greedy.”

“But I earned the wheat and made the bread of my own labor,” protested the little red hen.

“Exactly,” said Farmer O’Connell, “that is what makes Charlottesville so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as she wants.”

“But under Charlottesville’s ‘progressive’ system of government,” continued Farmer O’Connell, “the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle. And they must ‘tithe’ their fair share to the ‘god’ of government, as well.”

And so, they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who (after a brief “re-education” in Charlottesville City Schools) smiled and clucked, “I am grateful, for now I truly understand, that if I give government everything I have, government certainly will care for me by giving me everything I need.”

But her barnyard neighbors and Farmer O’Connell were perplexed by the little red hen’s subsequent unwillingness to work. She never again baked bread. Instead, she joined the ‘Party’ and because of her loyalty, she now got her bread for free.

And at this, all the Charlottesville Central Party Democrats smiled: ‘Fairness’ had been established; individual initiative had died; and another formerly independent citizen was now beholden to Charlottesville’s “progressive” government.

But nobody else noticed; perhaps nobody else cared—as long as there was “free” bread.

The City's New Seal
Charlottesville's New City Seal

10 COMMENTS

  1. Great Logo! Please don’t lose it.
    One thing good about this communist movement – if they take over, they’ll start taxing IMPACT.

  2. Rob –

    Thanks for this you brought back a great memory. My Grandmother was an elementary public school teacher for many years (1950’s to the late 70’s). Back then every elementary room had a piano and the teachers all knew how to play. When she would visit us we’d beg her to play from the big green book. She would play and sing a version of The Little Red Hen. The song was running through my head as I read your post.

    Hey – is there anybody else out there who remembers this book?

  3. Rob – I wonder, does the word “narcissism” ring any bells with you? Has anybody ever mentioned that you’re a windbag in love with the sound of your own voice and your own typewritten words? Always “mack macking!” about something, ego all inflated, talking just to hear yourself talk. You know, just wondering!

    If you don’t like Cville…….*then leave.* Stop whining and hate mongering, spare the public your over inflated ego and mack macking and just *leave.* Find someplace else to live that doesn’t have all these problems you endlessly go on and on about, someplace better, where you can be happy. Seriously, how hard is that? Being that you don’t leave for greener pastures, then it must be because deep down, on some level, you get off on all your complaining and wind baggery. You *want* something to complain about, you enjoy it. Being at war with the world, always angry about something, fighting with somebody, with bad guy enemies that you feel like you’re taking on, big “stuff” you’re supposedly exposing. It’s your big “something to do.” (Nevermind that most times you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel in your efforts to generate material. Anything to keep your voice going, anything to be noticed and heard and have people paying attention to you.) It’s safe to assume that if you actually did move to another town or city it would be the same repeating cycle there. You will never be happy. Your whole personality schtick revolves around conflict, fighting, being at war, having enemies, even if it means scraping barrells in a desperate attempt to remain in the spotlight.

  4. @Madeleine S.
    Actually, I’m a very happy person, and unlike you, I have the courage to put my name to my statements.

    In analyzing your outburst, I’ve come to the conclusion that you must be one or more of the following:

    1) a member of IMPACT!
    2) a Charlottesville Central Party Democrat
    3) David Brown in cyber-“drag”

    Rather than me leaving Charlottesville, why don’t you just stop listening to The Schilling Show or reading the The Schilling Show blog?

    Where is the substance in your post?

    P.S. I don’t run from things I don’t like…

  5. @Mad S.
    Mr. Schilling and many others who agree with much of what he says love Charlottesville! We want it to change. Hope and change. Why do opinions that differ from yours frighten you? I think Rob is at war with phony double-speak politicians and gov’t that is overbearing and wasteful…as we all should be! Please make constructive criticism or *leave*.

  6. Rob, I’m sure what Madeleine said is mild compared to what’s been said to you by others. Madeleine agrees with everything you’re saying, or else she would have taken at least one sentence to point out an example how you’re wrong. She just doesn’t like you saying it. What is “mack macking”? Not in the dictionary so I had to go to urbandictionary.com. There are 65 definitions. It has no meaning except in context where you guess the word– like saying “blank blanking” –so it can mean everything. Definition #23: “…the word mack is an untouched goldmine. It can be used over supper conversations and not make a fiddle of sense to any old people.” Sorta like this comment. Use in a sentence: Rob, your show is the best mack in this macking town. Don’t stop mack macking!

  7. @Madeleine S.

    I always wondered about the left who always say that you should leave when you don’t like something………….they, the left, never leave, even when they say they will- Sean Penn, et al.

    Rob, you are a great voice, a calm voice and unlike the progressives on 1450 can at least express your thoughts without craming comedy down our throats or being a loud mouth and screaming at us.

  8. Thank you Blair for clearing that up. I confess I had no idea what “mack macking” meant. I have read Mad S’s post (thank you for that appropriate nick name, Jack) a few times and can’t escape the thought that she is describing liberals to a tee: “being at war with the world; always angry at something” etc. You get the idea. She’s describing at least 50% of Charlottesville for pete’s sake! There are none so blind as those who will not see. On another note, Rob actually is one of the most content people I know. He is comfortable with who he is, is at peace with his Creator, pursues his dreams and has a wonderful family life. I can only hope the same for you Mad S.!

  9. Hi Rob:

    This is spot-on, and oh so appropriate given the Whiner Corps that we’ve allowed our city to cultivate. It’s so silly, because if Jefferson could come back to life and look around, he’d be the first one on the picket line, decrying a lot of what the City has been doing – and showing Madeline S. the shortest path to an environment in which she’d probably feel a lot more comfortable… say, France.

    Something you’ll enjoy… The People’s Cube’s “Guilt Level Chart” –
    http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=3154

    Keep up the great work!
    E

  10. Rob, you’re doing a great job. Don’t leave town. Madeleine S. will never leave either because she likes sucking at the public trough.

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