by: Rockey Rhoades
911, what is your emergency?
I’m at the English Inn, and someone’s trying to break into my room! Hurry!
Ma’am, I need you to calm down. As you probably know, ANTIFA and Black Lives Matter have shut down the entire Emmet Street and Barracks Road corridor and all our police officers are there to enforce this “social justice” protest.
WHAT? The person is trying to break into my room! HURRY!!!
Ma’am, first of all, stop screaming. Second of all, you sound white, and you must realize that you are calling us “from a place of privilege,” as the president of the Minneapolis City Council recently declared.
WHO IS THIS??? I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR RIGHT NOW!!!
Ma’am, my supervisor is participating in the protest, so you’re just going to have to deal with me.
AAAHHHH!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! DON’T HURT ME, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ma’am, I am not hurting you. I am trying to inform you of your white privilege, and why you’re just going to have to wait your turn. There are currently fourteen other so-called “emergencies” that were called in ahead of you, and some of them sounded like they were people of color, and they will get priority treatment. Is there anything else I can help you with?
He… stabbed me…. I’m bleeding….
Ma’am, please don’t be such a drama queen.
Hello? Ma’am are you there?